5 Ways Gestalt Therapy Can Help You Live More Authentically

Do you live an authentic life? In our frenetic and hyper-connected world, it can be hard to slow down and tune into yourself for long enough to know what living a life authentic to you would even look like. But you might have a hunch that you are not living out your truth as fully as you deserve. Do you long to feel more attuned to your true values, feelings, and desires? Gestalt therapy is a framework that can help you find your unique path to more authentic living.

Gestalt therapy is a holistic approach to psychotherapy developed by Fritz Perls, Laura Perls, and Paul Goodman in the 1940s and 1950s. Gestalt prioritizes the present moment and aims to help people increase self-awareness, personal responsibility, and integration. If Gestalt therapy is of interest to you, I am a certified Gestalt Therapist, and would be thrilled to accompany you on your journey. Reach out to schedule an appointment today. And read on for five key ways that Gestalt principles and techniques can help you cultivate greater authenticity and live more fully:

1. Developing Present-Moment Awareness 

One of the foundational principles of Gestalt therapy is emphasizing awareness of the present moment, often referred to as the "here and now." In our daily lives, we often get caught up ruminating about the past or anxiously anticipating the future, which takes us away from the riches of the present moment and keeps us caught up in worries and concerns outside of our control. 

Gestalt techniques like mindfulness exercises and experiential activities are designed to bring your attention fully into the present. By practicing present-moment awareness, you can:

- Notice subtle body sensations, emotions, and thoughts as they arise

- Become more attuned to your immediate needs and desires  

- Recognize habitual patterns of behavior or reactivity

- Make choices that align with your authentic self, rather than operating on autopilot

For example, I might ask you about your facial expression or body language as you process a particular event or memory. This question will help you increase your self-awareness, and your awareness of your reaction to emotional events in real time. As you practice this noticing, you may become aware of tension you're holding in your shoulders or a knot of anxiety in your stomach that you hadn't consciously recognized before.

This increased self-awareness allows you to check in with yourself throughout the day and make choices that feel authentic, rather than simply reacting out of habit or conforming to others' expectations.

2. Taking responsibility for your experience

Another key tenet of Gestalt therapy is the idea of personal responsibility. Rather than solely blaming yourself for everything, personal responsibility means recognizing that you are the author of your own experience and have agency in how you respond to events in your life. 

Gestalt techniques often involve using "I" language and owning your experiences, rather than projecting them onto others or external circumstances. For instance, instead of saying "That makes me angry," you might say "I feel angry when that happens."

This subtle shift encourages you to:

- Recognize your power to shape your own experience

- Stop seeing yourself as a passive victim of circumstances

- Make conscious choices about how you want to respond to situations

- Take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions

As you practice taking greater responsibility for your experience, you may find yourself feeling more empowered and able to live in alignment with your authentic needs and desires, rather than feeling at the mercy of others or extenuating circumstances.

3. Integrating all parts of Yourself

Gestalt therapy emphasizes the importance of integration – bringing together all aspects of yourself into a cohesive whole. Often, we reject or try to suppress parts of ourselves that we view as undesirable or that conflict with our self-image. This fragmentation leads to inner conflict and inauthenticity.

Gestalt techniques like the "empty chair" exercise aim to help you acknowledge and integrate different aspects of your personality. The empty chair is a role-playing exercise that allows a client to imagine and participate in a conversation with another person or another part of themselves. Sitting across from the empty chair, the client enters into a dialogue as if they were speaking with that other person or that other part of themselves.

This and other techniques might involve:

- Dialoguing with different "parts" of yourself

- Exploring internal conflicts or mixed feelings

- Recognizing and accepting shadow aspects of your personality

- Finding ways to honor seemingly contradictory needs or desires

As you learn to accept and integrate all parts of yourself, you can show up more authentically in the world, without hiding or repressing aspects of you. This will lead to more satisfying relationships and interactions, and more self-confidence, joy, and peace in your day-to-day life. 

4. Amplifying Emotional Awareness and Freeing Emotional Expression

Many of us have learned to suppress or ignore our emotions, especially those deemed "negative" or socially unacceptable. This emotional repression disconnects us from our authentic selves and can lead to a sense of numbness or inauthenticity.

Gestalt therapy emphasizes self awareness and emotional expression. Techniques are designed to help you:

- Identify and name your emotions with greater precision

- Connect emotions to bodily sensations and experiences

- Express emotions in healthy, constructive ways

- Recognize how unexpressed emotions may be influencing your behavior

You might be encouraged to pay attention to subtle shifts in your emotional state during a session. Your Gestalt therapist may also use role-playing or other experiential techniques to help you practice expressing emotions you typically hold back.

For instance, if you struggle with assertiveness, you might role-play asking for a raise at work. The therapist would help you notice any fear or anxiety that arises and encourage you to feel and express it authentically, rather than pushing it down.

As you become more comfortable identifying and expressing your full range of emotions, you can live with greater truth. You'll be able to honor your feelings rather than presenting a false front to the world or making decisions based on what you think you "should" feel.

Cultivating authentic relationships

Gestalt therapy recognizes that we are inherently relational beings and that authentic self-expression is closely tied to our interactions with others. Many Gestalt techniques focus on improving the quality of your relationships and communication.

Key aspects of this include:
- Practicing genuine, open communication

- Developing greater empathy and understanding for others

- Recognizing and respecting boundaries (both your own and others')

- Becoming aware of how you co-create your relational experiences

Gestalt approaches often involve exploring your relational patterns within the therapeutic relationship itself. Your Gestalt therapist may draw attention to how you interact with them, helping you become aware of habitual ways of relating that may not serve you well.

For example, if you tend to be overly accommodating in relationships, your Gestalt therapist might point out moments when you're deferring to them unnecessarily. This awareness can help you practice more authentic self-expression in the safety of the therapeutic relationship, which you can then apply to other relationships in your life.

Putting It All Together: Living Your Authentic Life

Incorporating the takeaways from Gestalt therapy into your life is an ongoing process of becoming more aware, present, and integrated in your daily experiences.

As you practice these techniques in therapy, you may find that:

- You make choices that better align with your true values and desires

- You feel more comfortable expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings

- You experience a greater sense of aliveness and engagement with life

- Your relationships become more genuine and satisfying

- You feel a stronger sense of agency

It's important to note that this journey towards greater authenticity isn't always easy or comfortable. Confronting aspects of yourself that you've long ignored or suppressed can be challenging.

However, you will likely find that the rewards of living more authentically far outweigh the challenges. There's a profound sense of relief and freedom that comes from dropping pretenses and allowing yourself to simply be who you are.

Remember, authenticity isn't a destination you reach once and for all. It's an ongoing practice of showing up as your full self, moment by moment. As you continue on this path, you may find that your sense of self becomes clearer, your choices become more aligned with your true nature, and your experience of life becomes richer and more meaningful.